My Mom

Its been a while, and most of you know why. We returned from our European Vacation on July 8th at around 7:30 in the evening and got home and were in bed by about 10:00 PM. At 3:50 AM I got a phone call from my father that he had taken my mother to the Emergency Room because she could not stop coughing and that the doctors in the ER had told him he should probably contact the family as she was very sick and they did not think she would make it another couple days. I was in complete shock - there are no words to describe this feeling. I left for Europe a month prior, the day after my mom's 62nd Birthday Celebration where she was feeling fairly good and returned to the news that my mom probably was not going to make it more than a day. We were all devestated and even my dad who was with her every day prior never dreamed that would be the news they would get when they got to the hospital. My mother did pass away that day, July 9th at about 5:30 PM surrounded by her family and close friends - I feel like she was hanging on to see me and my family again. I am still in shock and feel as if this is all a bad dream and that maybe my mom is just on a vacation and will be coming home soon. And, I could kick myself for not being here with her during her last month - if only I would have known. She did not tell me anything that was going on because she did not want to ruin our vacation - even on the days she felt the worst she was selfless and worrying about others. My mom was an incredible mother, and I only hope that I can be as good a mother to my children as she was to me and my brother. I miss her every day but know that she is looking out for us from above and I see her spirit and spunk in my little Mia every day. I am so grateful that she was able to meet and spend so much time with Mia - they had such a special relationship and Mia sees the pictures I have of my mom throughout the house and always points to them and says "Moma" (which is what she calls my mom) so I know she will always have fond memories of her as well. Mama, you will be missed terribly by all, espcially your family and close friends. We love you so much, and will never forget you! May you sleep in peace in a better place - no more pain, sorrow, worries or fight.

Do not stand by my grave and weep

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush.

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there, I did not die.